Life of the ordinary

我说啊,我是个情绪化的人.今天就是不知为何那么emo.我回想起以前令我不开心的事.亲情,友情,都有.我可以很坚强去面对任何的事情,只有这两个都有'情'的词语,就是我最大的死穴.我真想把负面的思想,化成正面能量,但这真的很难.我从不轻易放弃,也从不轻易掉泪,但是有些事情,我真的不想跟任何人说,想一个人安静,自己胡思乱想.我不知道我这样是否能解决问题,但这就是我长久以来使用的坏方法,真是悲哀.也想起 Hebe '寂寞寂寞就好' 的歌词 我寂寞寂寞就好, 这时候谁都别来安慰拥抱 就让我一个人去 痛到受不了 想到快疯掉 死不了就还好 此刻,我的心情就是如此 我会加油.

Yeah, see the header? Mom brought me to Jusco so she could buy shoes and a belt that will match my dress which I will wear for the wedding dinner this Saturday.I wanted to buy platform shoes,not shoes with heels, but after considering my clumsiness, I decided to give up because platform shoes are also high at the ankle ><. But anyway, I bought a pair of white shoes with a little bit of height, at least it won't kill me when I wear it. And I also found a thin white belt that will go with my dress.Mom will be starting to mark the SPM Mathematics Paper 2 today, and my brother and I accompanied her all night until 12am to watch the Korean Drama, though we're not sure we've watched anything ==. She was fastforwarding the whole time that I swear we've only watched a quarter of an episode. Anyway, looking forward to the wedding dinner and Ill see if I look hideous in that dress.

Yeah!! Hell yeah!! It is a great night! Me and my whole family went out for dinner, my brother was the 1 who paid for the dinner. He got his salary after teaching  for a month at the music studio. RM 288 ! We ate CRAB <3 <3 !!! And for a reasonable price, its only RM 36 for 2 crabs! Although my brother ate most of the crab, i was happy ( At least I ate some before he cleaned the plate). It was satisfying .  My brother really deserved it for all the hard work he went through! The dinner was RM 142. I decided to pay RM 4 so my brother can save RM 150 .And then around 8pm we went home, and my brother forced me to play POKER CARDS with him. I guess it was my lucky day! I sapu 6 straight games! My brother was frustrated and wanted his revenge, haha! Not that he managed it! I won 3 out of the 4 games next! HAHAHAHAHAHAH !! Anyway, what a great night and thanks again to my brother for that awesome dinner!

Imperfections make you perfect, that's what Ive always believe.And, to my Add Maths progress, studying the last subchapter of log, hurray! Just have to rewind my brain a bit. And Im of to Penang to attend a wedding party next Friday and Saturday. Can't wait to wear that dress mum bought me, Ill wear it and and take a picture so Ill upload it to Facebook. Wishing to have outing with those girls, and I have a gathering with primary friends next Sunday. Tight schedule, looks like everyone's enjoying their holidays. Wish I was.

Its really just the start of the holidays, im trying to find something else to do. AND IVE FOUND IT. Wrapping up my books.Haha, weird right? And to my friends that went to the pengawas camp, they've looked like they changed a lot. Saw dear Joey's posts and Vooi Vrung decided not to quit. Its actually good news. They've must have made the journey of their life. And recently, Ive went to Kepong Jusco. There's discount on reference books! I was considering to buy Science reference books, but I didn't , cause Im not 100% sure that we will still be learning Science and Maths in English next year. Maybe Mr Leong decided to change, who knows? But im really starting to prepare myself for next year. Im starting to think positive. I really want to have a better year than this 1. To improve myself, to improve my time management between studies and other activities, to enjoy and learn new things. The feeling is really starting to grow on me.And Ill strive to do my best, whateve...

Now Im in Form 4 Chapter 5-Indices and Logarithms.But Im not making any progress. I plan to finish this chapter by the end of November.I was very angry and frustrated when I can't solve the questions.Suk huey said I was ridiculously fast,OMG. The others are starting Add Maths in their tution centres, but I have to self study, I have to work out every question on my own. I really don't want to ask my mom anything, maybe because my pride stood in the way, but Ill try to do my best.I have to try and love this subject, but I know its going to be a long long way............ But, nevertheless, if im giving up without a fight, then this is not my style. I swear Im going to solve question of you-- LOG

Fourth day of SPM, they're sitting for Maths today. I really miss all my seniors that are going to leave school. Yau Hong, Suk Huey, Soh Chen, Ru Shan and friends-but-not-seniors-relationship--Kam Weng. Haiz, I wonder when we'll I be seeing them again.I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye to them. But wherever you'll all go, I wish you all the best in future and Ill always remember the moments we had together. Thank you, Yau Hong, for teaching me how to debate and you're the funniest person Ive ever met. You treat me like a friend more than a junior, and Im really touched by that.... As for Suk Huey, you really really really are the nicest person Ive ever met. I will really miss everything of you, your smile, your presence, your words of encouragement, thank you so much! Soh Chen aka Hand Shake, you're nice, but please dun sing every time we meet lah. You're pro in studies, keep it up in the future. Ru Shan, thank you for bringing me in to PBC and all y...

Yep, its the last day of school. Quite a crazy day. Had a long talk with Shou Yan, Yu Yeong and Hong Zhe.And eating biscuits, taking photos and playing poker cards. Damn that pengawas! Ruining the game when we were halfway through! Haha, anyway, its just the 1st day of the holidays and Im starting to feel boring.I haven't touched my Add Maths for weeks, maybe Ill do it this afternoon. And then I bought two novels, haven't started reading. The fifth formers will start their SPM next Monday. I wish them all the best in the exam.And to all my beloved 3S classmates, I will see you all less next year, but Im really happy and lucky to be with you in this colourful year. Thank you, thank you and thank you! I love you all and I hope you all will smile everyday......^^

Feeling depressed these days. Hate myself for thinking too much, hate myself for being negative, hate myself for doing the wrong things every time. No matter where I turn, I will always be the loser. I think I made a right decision these days.At least I get to hang out with someone else.I can do something with someone else. I really have to think it through seriously what should I do to evade more pain in my soul.