Life of the ordinary

我察觉自己潜在的情绪是蛮负面的 可以用cynical这个字来形容,既愤世嫉俗的意思 早前跟两个女人出来聚会 第一个女人跟我的困境很相似 第二个女人表面上无需负担多少,但她的独立让人心疼 我们当天在餐厅,各自拿着一杯饮料,大吐苦水 各自的生活都存在烦恼, 远比一个19岁该承受的高出许多 但我们也都接受了事实 既然是事实 就只好咬紧牙关继续撑下去 这个道理我们都知道 但撑的时候难免会觉得累 有时候莫名地难过 但我觉得最重要的是你给你自己什么定位 我很害怕迷失自己 想到变成我不喜欢的自己 就无法忍受 但我对接下来的人生还是有憧憬 如何让自己快乐时很重要的 肩膀上的担子也许会随着一份心情上的释然而变得轻一些 无论如何 我还是幸运的 因为上帝让我遇到了很多好人 愿我们一起加油 度过各自的难关

i haven't finished my exams haha One more paper left The major papers are over I think i did a decent job in my maths and law papers Just worried about econs Anyway i start my degree at september After a levels my classmates were debating with themselves whether to continue studying law Me included I have to regroup and explore my options Because it determines your future career Although law in itself is an interesting subject You need diligence, brain capacity of thousands GB and a fast writing speed The first requirement i may have The second and third NO Post A levels new list of things to do; 1) Pick up my Spanish and kick ass in it 2) Reunion and gossip 3) Prepare for lessons in my tuition job so that im up ahead of schedule 4) Find another job ( depends whether ive been accepted into the apprentice programme) 5) finish reading books ive bought, then buy new books if i can 6) tidy up my room 7) look for scholarship 8) learn how to cook Happy holidays ...

So almost 70% of my life is about a levels right now As im having my exams in less than 2 weeks A bit nervous Hope i can do well I worked in a burger restaurant for one and a half months on weekends recently Its a great experience And things to do after A levels: Pick up my Spanish classes Read a ton of books And meeting up with my besties And living a relaxed life before starting my degree Hope everyone is well :)

Im actually still unprepared for A2 But i hope i can stick to my schedule And score better results than AS I was definitely not prepared well enough the last time Leading to a not so good start But i strived to do better Life is as usual I miss all my secondary school friends Wanting to know how they're doing I shouldn't make excuses for being tired And not to contact them Some of them are important They'll be always important Im outdated recently Not much idea of what's going on But hopefully i can rest after all this craziness is over Part of the beauty yet sadness in life is growing up But you just have to embrace it by just being you

Ok got back my A level results 1A 2Bs I could have done better, but im happy enough Because at least i still have a chance of catching up I thought i screwed up my law But it didn't turn up too bad (Yay!) Mr Sara said my essay quality is high :D Now im waking up at 5am every day for extra study time Ugh studying law is like studying 2 subjects But i like it as it quite interesting Life is busy as usual When you grow up you have to bear responsibility But no matter what never ever lose faith in yourself A2 is around the end of May Then im gonna join programmes and widen my knowledge and perspectives Ending note: Life is uncertain We just have to brace and wing through it :)

写这篇东西时,是半夜一点 心情很沉重 该习惯了 却从未习惯 至少没嚎啕大哭 眼角只留了几滴泪 5年了吧 你一路以来惹的祸, 你一路以来欠的钱 你一路以来的空口承诺 已经让我精疲力竭 我从15岁就知道事情的严重性 所以这几年来,我被逼成长 我一方面感激你,一方面不知能否原谅你 我妈妈是一百分的老婆吧 为了我,为了哥哥,为了让你的爸妈不失去依靠 选择留下来,承担所有的一切 但你却从不,从不珍惜 你一次又一次的欺骗 你一次又一次的增加债务 你一次又一次的做出不可能实行的承诺 已经让我妈的心碎了一地 我一定会记得妈妈对我说的话 她说你给了她十年的好生活, 买了这个屋子 她不应该在你有难的时候离开你 我起初不知该如何反驳 但现在我能告诉你四个字 仁至已尽 我不能接受你空口说白话 我不能接受你因不想面对事实而对妈妈发脾气 我不能接受你可以因为面子而把一切问题抛下不顾 我不需要一个给我富裕生活的爸爸 我只需要一个肯认错,肯承担责任的爸爸

2014 was tough But 2015 will be better Tired nowadays I took up the job at MACEE again. Teaching Americans BM ( I love the job ) So I have to wake up at 5 (traffic in KL is horrible) After the session ends at 10.30 I have to go to college for classes Sometimes class ends at 5pm Then I go home, Have a shower and dinner. Then I go out again to teach tuition till 10pm After messing around, I go to bed around 11-12 Then I repeat my day My tuition classes have been reduced I know myself well I really need time to study for my A2 exam,especially law I guess my life will always be topsy turvy Especially when the men in my family keep creating problems But Ill pull through it. My New year resolutions: Score 3As for A2 Save up to 10k on my own Everything will be fine eventually