Life now
The mid-term examination is about to end.
Only three papers left next week.
Well i didnt study overnight frequently as i used to when the exams are near.
Bcuz i recognised when my mind works best.
So i prefer rest over studying non stop actually.
Except for accounts and add maths. Just see how i did after the results come out..
No point worrying.
Hmm my feelings are just mixed nowadays.
I laugh out hard at school bcuz of those crazy bitches xD
But at home i just turned into another person.
Sadly i admit i fail in dealing the relationship between my family members.
Especially my mum.
Admittedly we never actually reached an understanding.
Im just confused why could i offend her at such a small matter.
And she just rants on and exaggerates the problem.
But i kept quiet.
I was just so tired. I just came back late from society activities.I really did not want to explain.
Mind you im not saying its my mother's fault or what,
Its just i really don't know how can i tell her how i feel,
Or i just did not want to tell her at all.
And my brother expects me to help him finish his chores just bcuz he may come back late?
I did thought of helping him but i must practice my piano as my exam is near and my pieces are like shit. I don't want to fail my practical exam as i messed up my theory. I failed due to a mere 4 marks.
And i didnt even dare tell my mum till now.
Im selfish.
Thats what they always said about me.
I just feel my heart keeps scarring every minute hearing those words.
What am i supposed to do?
Im really tired.
You expect me to understand you.
I really did try.
But after all those arguments i learned to keep quiet,
Because i know whenever i turn you will be the person who is right eventually.
Everyone you told they will side you.
They will criticize me.
I don't want to create any more trouble for myself,
I prefer not to explain from these days onwards, it will only make you angrier anyway. If i explain, you'll say something else and the argument never ends. If i keep quiet, you'll still think that i thought myself as the right one.
Its my fault for not being the daughter you wanted,
My fault being so cowardly and selfish.
My fault not even saying sorry once to you in my life bcuz my pride stood in the way.
I know it. I should have realised that earlier.
Sorry, my ugly character still lies as dirt in your eyes.
Then let it be. I really accepted the fact its my fault forever.
Ill pay the price, i assure you.
Only three papers left next week.
Well i didnt study overnight frequently as i used to when the exams are near.
Bcuz i recognised when my mind works best.
So i prefer rest over studying non stop actually.
Except for accounts and add maths. Just see how i did after the results come out..
No point worrying.
Hmm my feelings are just mixed nowadays.
I laugh out hard at school bcuz of those crazy bitches xD
But at home i just turned into another person.
Sadly i admit i fail in dealing the relationship between my family members.
Especially my mum.
Admittedly we never actually reached an understanding.
Im just confused why could i offend her at such a small matter.
And she just rants on and exaggerates the problem.
But i kept quiet.
I was just so tired. I just came back late from society activities.I really did not want to explain.
Mind you im not saying its my mother's fault or what,
Its just i really don't know how can i tell her how i feel,
Or i just did not want to tell her at all.
And my brother expects me to help him finish his chores just bcuz he may come back late?
I did thought of helping him but i must practice my piano as my exam is near and my pieces are like shit. I don't want to fail my practical exam as i messed up my theory. I failed due to a mere 4 marks.
And i didnt even dare tell my mum till now.
Im selfish.
Thats what they always said about me.
I just feel my heart keeps scarring every minute hearing those words.
What am i supposed to do?
Im really tired.
You expect me to understand you.
I really did try.
But after all those arguments i learned to keep quiet,
Because i know whenever i turn you will be the person who is right eventually.
Everyone you told they will side you.
They will criticize me.
I don't want to create any more trouble for myself,
I prefer not to explain from these days onwards, it will only make you angrier anyway. If i explain, you'll say something else and the argument never ends. If i keep quiet, you'll still think that i thought myself as the right one.
Its my fault for not being the daughter you wanted,
My fault being so cowardly and selfish.
My fault not even saying sorry once to you in my life bcuz my pride stood in the way.
I know it. I should have realised that earlier.
Sorry, my ugly character still lies as dirt in your eyes.
Then let it be. I really accepted the fact its my fault forever.
Ill pay the price, i assure you.
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