Life of the ordinary

Woots! All of us are closing the curtains for 2015 eventually It has been challenging with tears,tantrums and laughter So looking forward to 2016, 20 years of age, and a new stage in life. Resolutions! 1) earn 20k 2) meet 365 new friends 3) trip with best friends 4) Become a real apprentice 5) represent ATC's moot team 6) 2As and 2B+s for LLB exam 7) expand job opportunities Hope everyone has a good year. Look forward,never backwards!

okay my blog is going to accumulate dust if I keep leaving it blank three months a pretty eventful period of time with a lot of decisions made and a lot of mixed emotions going on university life reunion with old friends and then meeting new friends in a familiar environment studying a challenging course glad im getting more consistent than before in my studies and getting more clear regarding what I want in life relationships everything's great hwei's in uk chasing her dreams and im happy jac's in love (he better treat her right) a boy I developed a crush on now has a girlfriend lol lesson learnt in trying to take chances although I have less luck in the lover's department im happy that I have a loving family and out-of-the-world-awesome friends and I just have to move on with all the ups and downs in life. hopefully, I will meet the right person eventually life's a whirl of colours new challenges, new experiences, new relationships I think...

So the results came out 2As and 1B Satisfied I did elevate myself to a better result But somehow it was not enough for a full scholarship Thats why im working hard for my degree now And im working hard to pay for my course fees I just  hope that i can lessen my mum's burden Anyway im still me Making blunders Procastinating But ill try my best to cope with the hardships in everyday life

我近来在一个星期内竟然连续流下三次眼泪 不忿,不甘心,害怕所有的情绪都乱成一团 最近也做了一个心理测验 它说我渴望别人会明白我 我承认这个事实 因为我会正视自己 我发现我真的不会过滤当下的情绪 每次困难一来就很沮丧 过了几个小时才回到理性思考的范围 这样的我是否太冲动了? 每次莫名地寻找一个人的怀抱来慰籍自己 这样又如何独立? 朋友跟我说: 你坚强太久了 而发现我真的不知该如何定义坚强 但我敢肯定 我是撞得头破血流也不会逃避现实的人 而我该思考的是 如何真正找到内心的坚强 才能稳而不乱 才不会把自身的情绪乱乱托付给其他人 毕竟每个人都得过生活 目前的我还真的脆弱

我察觉自己潜在的情绪是蛮负面的 可以用cynical这个字来形容,既愤世嫉俗的意思 早前跟两个女人出来聚会 第一个女人跟我的困境很相似 第二个女人表面上无需负担多少,但她的独立让人心疼 我们当天在餐厅,各自拿着一杯饮料,大吐苦水 各自的生活都存在烦恼, 远比一个19岁该承受的高出许多 但我们也都接受了事实 既然是事实 就只好咬紧牙关继续撑下去 这个道理我们都知道 但撑的时候难免会觉得累 有时候莫名地难过 但我觉得最重要的是你给你自己什么定位 我很害怕迷失自己 想到变成我不喜欢的自己 就无法忍受 但我对接下来的人生还是有憧憬 如何让自己快乐时很重要的 肩膀上的担子也许会随着一份心情上的释然而变得轻一些 无论如何 我还是幸运的 因为上帝让我遇到了很多好人 愿我们一起加油 度过各自的难关

i haven't finished my exams haha One more paper left The major papers are over I think i did a decent job in my maths and law papers Just worried about econs Anyway i start my degree at september After a levels my classmates were debating with themselves whether to continue studying law Me included I have to regroup and explore my options Because it determines your future career Although law in itself is an interesting subject You need diligence, brain capacity of thousands GB and a fast writing speed The first requirement i may have The second and third NO Post A levels new list of things to do; 1) Pick up my Spanish and kick ass in it 2) Reunion and gossip 3) Prepare for lessons in my tuition job so that im up ahead of schedule 4) Find another job ( depends whether ive been accepted into the apprentice programme) 5) finish reading books ive bought, then buy new books if i can 6) tidy up my room 7) look for scholarship 8) learn how to cook Happy holidays ...

So almost 70% of my life is about a levels right now As im having my exams in less than 2 weeks A bit nervous Hope i can do well I worked in a burger restaurant for one and a half months on weekends recently Its a great experience And things to do after A levels: Pick up my Spanish classes Read a ton of books And meeting up with my besties And living a relaxed life before starting my degree Hope everyone is well :)

Im actually still unprepared for A2 But i hope i can stick to my schedule And score better results than AS I was definitely not prepared well enough the last time Leading to a not so good start But i strived to do better Life is as usual I miss all my secondary school friends Wanting to know how they're doing I shouldn't make excuses for being tired And not to contact them Some of them are important They'll be always important Im outdated recently Not much idea of what's going on But hopefully i can rest after all this craziness is over Part of the beauty yet sadness in life is growing up But you just have to embrace it by just being you

Ok got back my A level results 1A 2Bs I could have done better, but im happy enough Because at least i still have a chance of catching up I thought i screwed up my law But it didn't turn up too bad (Yay!) Mr Sara said my essay quality is high :D Now im waking up at 5am every day for extra study time Ugh studying law is like studying 2 subjects But i like it as it quite interesting Life is busy as usual When you grow up you have to bear responsibility But no matter what never ever lose faith in yourself A2 is around the end of May Then im gonna join programmes and widen my knowledge and perspectives Ending note: Life is uncertain We just have to brace and wing through it :)

写这篇东西时,是半夜一点 心情很沉重 该习惯了 却从未习惯 至少没嚎啕大哭 眼角只留了几滴泪 5年了吧 你一路以来惹的祸, 你一路以来欠的钱 你一路以来的空口承诺 已经让我精疲力竭 我从15岁就知道事情的严重性 所以这几年来,我被逼成长 我一方面感激你,一方面不知能否原谅你 我妈妈是一百分的老婆吧 为了我,为了哥哥,为了让你的爸妈不失去依靠 选择留下来,承担所有的一切 但你却从不,从不珍惜 你一次又一次的欺骗 你一次又一次的增加债务 你一次又一次的做出不可能实行的承诺 已经让我妈的心碎了一地 我一定会记得妈妈对我说的话 她说你给了她十年的好生活, 买了这个屋子 她不应该在你有难的时候离开你 我起初不知该如何反驳 但现在我能告诉你四个字 仁至已尽 我不能接受你空口说白话 我不能接受你因不想面对事实而对妈妈发脾气 我不能接受你可以因为面子而把一切问题抛下不顾 我不需要一个给我富裕生活的爸爸 我只需要一个肯认错,肯承担责任的爸爸

2014 was tough But 2015 will be better Tired nowadays I took up the job at MACEE again. Teaching Americans BM ( I love the job ) So I have to wake up at 5 (traffic in KL is horrible) After the session ends at 10.30 I have to go to college for classes Sometimes class ends at 5pm Then I go home, Have a shower and dinner. Then I go out again to teach tuition till 10pm After messing around, I go to bed around 11-12 Then I repeat my day My tuition classes have been reduced I know myself well I really need time to study for my A2 exam,especially law I guess my life will always be topsy turvy Especially when the men in my family keep creating problems But Ill pull through it. My New year resolutions: Score 3As for A2 Save up to 10k on my own Everything will be fine eventually