Life of the ordinary

继续我的阐述: Brian: 这小子我中一就认识 高高的,有182(现在)还有那销魂的嘴唇(呕,连我自己都觉得自己很贱xD) 是缘分驱使的吧,我们在中四又同班了. 他跟jesmine都是班上的灵魂人物. 他有自己的原则,总之我们就是聊得来. 重点: 他拥有超高的音乐天份,我还真希望他会去读音乐,但是他爸反对. 还有让我印象深刻的是,他能把朋友和情人之间的关系处理得很好 他有一个漂亮的女友,跟我们不同班. 他很少跟我们聊他跟女友的事情,可能他觉得不需要. 因为他们真的很恩爱.偶尔我们聚会时看到她的身影我们只会瞎起哄,哈哈 以一个好友的身份来说,他真的很有义气,虽然他有时候很自恋就是了. 干,我干嘛一直称赞他啊,算了,总之,有些情谊不用说出口,我真的很珍惜这位兄弟. 毅晨: 我想,十年过后,我依然会对这位兄弟说: 你真是一个邪恶的人 是的,这条水,非常,异常,惊人的邪恶. 他比我们年长一年,所以相对来说应该比我们成熟. 呃,好像不是这么一回事. 他跟我们在一起真的跟白痴没两样. 不过我清楚知道, 毅晨心理上依然有些层面不愿意透露让我们知道. 我想他真的很害怕把赤裸裸的自己展现出来吧. 不过我想告诉他,谢谢你对我们的信任. 有时候我们不需要知道太多,互相了解就是最棒的交流了 而你愿意把你的心情分享给我们,万分感激. 你一定会成功的,真的. 跟淑慧要幸福,要结婚就派我请柬. 还有三个人,唉,原谅我的怠惰,下次见

唉或许我选择的路是比较孤独吧 你们三人在一月都开学了,只有我一人得等到三月. 你们二人都读同一间学院,我跟你们的距离非常遥远. 我知道任何一切都不可能改变我的决定. 但是想到未来的事情,不免开始觉得有点难过。 放宽心情吧,既然都决定了就要比任何人努力,比任何人坚强. 你不是没试过,就别再浪费时间暗自神伤。 把自己变得更优秀,更好的人。 你会比谁都得到更多. 加油,郭皓盈!

我想到了谁,就写谁,因为他们在我的心目中都占据了重要的位置. 秀慧 傻婆一个,我觉得中四中五那两年对我们来说是最珍贵的。 那时就是撇开教条束缚,学习的同时,也尽情玩乐 做了一些很好笑的事情,然后互相吐槽 我们都很了解对方 她呀,有时候心里比任何人更在意,只是她不想表达 我从她的身上学到很多,也可能是我人生中第一个认识的笑点最低的人了 我会记住她的糗事(邪恶的笑),我会想念她的笑声,我会记住那些年我们努力奋斗的日子 总会再相聚的,到时候我们就是女强人了 :) 怡颖 这个傻逼我中一就认识了,我记得她说过她对我的第一印象就是字体很工整~(臭屁当中) 也不懂为什么,从不知何时开始开始混熟了,然后我,她和慧就如三剑客一样,成为了姐妹. 结果我们在一起5年了,当中只有两年我们三人同班. 说真的,中一的时候,我是他们当中最平凡的那一个吧 她当上下午班的巡查员团长,而慧则是图书馆理员的团长。 不过初中的时候的确有介怀的时刻, 因为如果是需要双人一组的时候,她会跟慧在一起,我只能做一个所谓的后座角色,有时候莫名地孤独,然后开始胡思乱想. 但我已经明白了,最近看了一部短篇漫画,讲述五个好友当中,有一个人必须担当后座的角色. 如果我设身处地为他们想的话,我们有三个人,一定要有一个人担任这个任务,如果换成任何一个人都会难过吧,所以最重要的是学会在意别人的感受,就算是一个后座角色也不损之间的友情吧,所以我从中领悟了蛮多,这是难得的考验,我就接受了~ 她在学校很出名,桃花运也很旺.她的确才华洋溢,但有时候会替她担心这,担心那,但我现在选择去相信她一切的决定,因为我觉得她很清楚自己在做什么。加油啦,傻婆。你一定会遇到生命中那个对的人. 祖瑜 独立,负责任,对自己有交代的狮子座, 她总是承受着很多事情,不管是家庭,友情,爱情也一样. 有时候会心疼她,有时候会怪她傻,但过后我也选择去相信她所做的一切. 家家有本难念的经,每个人总会遇见不同的问题,如果是我也想自己试着解决问题,相信她跟我的看法也一样. 但我希望她真的很难受时可以找我们任何一个发泄,你不是铁做的,如果有一天我们四个人再相聚时才发觉你竟然过着不快乐的生活,我一定会很内疚的。 不过我相信船到桥头自然直,尽管你的生活总遇见不如意的时刻,你一定要勉励自己,想一想你坚持的理由,事情总有一...

真心觉得， 我很奇怪。 在这5年的中学生涯里， 对自己的了解也日趋增加。 你可能不知道的我: 1) 我是有小聪明的人 说到这点，我的小聪明在课业上发挥了很大的用处。 妈妈在我幼稚园时就送我去学英文。 那个课程我用了八年的时间完成。 所以要感谢妈妈把我的英文基础打好 我有更多的时间去自行学习另外两个语文科。 回到小聪明这点， 也许从小开始学英文,理解能力也逐渐提升而且不止在英文这个科目上 在其他的科目上,我不必花很多的时间就能明白其中的重点(可能是我自我感觉良好也说不定) 我也有付出一定程度的努力,但是我很少,很少尽全力。 最努力的一次应该是自动学高数的那个时候吧。(那股拼命的热血,本人到至今难以忘怀) 所以到那时候误打误撞拿了人生中第一次的全级第一,简直是匪夷所思。 当然这个灵异事件有很多因素造成。 首先文科的科目真的比理科简单,然后我有付出努力(尤其在高数这个科目),加上本人那时候应该有强大的运气庇护,结果我还在像白痴一样嘻嘻哈哈时就得到这个成绩。 所以我觉得自己的确算是读书的材料吧,尽管我没有尽全力(本人想像自己被围殴中，但这是事实) 妈妈认为我笨,我是努力很久才有这样的成绩,但她很开心就是了. 对于她这番见解,我没解释,但我觉得自己是有小聪明的。 2)我有不按例牌出牌的潜质 这是今年才发生的事. 我发觉自己真是有无可救药的傻劲。 很喜欢做我平时没尝试的事。 虽然这种潜质只发生在考试的时候。 像预考时,我华文作文平时都写抒情文， 结果那次竟然提笔写了我从来都没尝试过的议论文。 虽然那时跟我本人创意贫瘠有小小的关系。 然后接着那次是在SPM 英文作文我擅长写故事,写个狗血的故事是我擅长的事。 但见鬼了,我又再次提笔谢了我一生中从未尝试的英文议论文。 那次的理由很荒谬. 我看了一遍题目,发觉自己懒得以自己贫瘠的创意再去写一遍洒满狗血的故事, 然后想了想,哥说在college考general paper都是写议论文,不如拿这次练习吧, 结果就浑浑噩噩谢了一篇"补习不重要"的篇章. 你看到这里应该是觉得我疯了,我也觉得自己那时疯了,拿重要的考试来做实验. 想回那时的文章，写得很普通,不会有很多语法错误,但是写狗血故事我更能发挥,唉,算了. 看明年三月的成绩来断定我疯狂行径...

我发觉了一件事情 而且是很迟才有这个知觉。 原谅我的迟钝。 我的部落格真的蛮生活化的 很少发泄不快乐的事情 很少回忆录 看见好友们的部落格都充满一页一页的点滴， 就有这个劲儿来写出自己的回忆。 但我需要一个适合的时间。 很长的时间。 没关系 我会加油的。

Ok im back here blogging Temporarily im in no mood to study economics. The Science paper on Monday was damn easy. Are they really testing us? = = The moment when you sit for a two and a half hour paper and finishing it in an hour or less. Then sitting there staring at each other, daydreaming, sleeping, And at that time particularly time goes very slowly. Im just crapping here. Im still worried i cant get a job after the exams

Yeah 3 papers left. Then its really the end of secondary school life. It seems like the exams took ages. Though i went to One Utama after my Moral Paper :P Its nice walking around relaxing after such a long period of time. Yesterday was the add maths exam. Before sitting for paper 2 in the afternoon, Had a nice chat with my besties and friends from other class. Jac and Hwei. These two crazy girls light up my life. Though i admitted to Jac that i was not keen to have a close relationship anymore with another friend (lets call her Ann)who was once very close with me and Hwei. It changed during Form 4. Well as Hwei and I were determined to take art stream, while most of the others, including Ann, Jac and Joey took science. So automatically we studied at different classes. Somehow i think that Hwei and I had took a positive change towards our own personalities. Because our classmates were fun, energetic, sincere and honest. So we opened up and we became more honest towards o...

Basically, im quite tired with all the revision. Though i took it slow. Tomorrow i will be sitting for 3 papers. Damn, i still can't figure out why they must put accounts paper 2 with sejarah on the same day. Never mind, i was daydreaming these days. Especially life after SPM, hohoho! Like having an outing with my girls,attending driving lessons, debating, working part time,celebrating christmas and countdown at jesmine's house. Haha i know im thinking too far. And im in the process of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Though recently im craving for desserts. That's it im just blogging here to motivate myself of the wonderful life after SPM~ Good luck peeps :)

Ok so i was in the plan of teaching home tution with my mum after my exam. Since i have free time for the whole 3 months. So i posted a status at fb for promotion I wanted to get started early. And the most bizzare thing happened. Holy, Jesus Christ Mr Sai Mun from VIP Education Centre commented on my status. And gave me a job offer ( sounds like it, you can say im dreaming) I stunned for like, i don't know, a few minutes maybe. I know Mr Sai Mun is popular not just among my friends but the whole nation. Most of them go to his tution centre. Nevertheless i decided to give a try. I just thought, why not? So i left a message inbox to plan for an interview after SPM. He agreed. Yeah I know im probably not qualified, im just a rookie But i see it as an experience. Its not something you can have easily. Lets see how it goes after SPM and my debate competition. I won't let go of the chance and make myself regret. I only live once thats how i remind myself. O...

Im literally exhausted now. But i decided to blog. Ok firstly i graduated at the end of October. If im hardworking enough ill post about graduation after the exams~ Cuz  seriously the exams are occupying my mind now. The first day of SPM was oh yeah im done with BM. LOL The paper was ok, not too hard. I think ive done what i could. I just remember it was raining and it was damn cold when i sat for paper 2. And ive found someone to take good care of my bm notes which are handmade, printed sources and reference books. I can't believe someone would respond to my fb status. Ill know she will appreciate my hard work for the last 2 years. :) Cheers! BI paper tomorrow, and then its a week off! Keep going everyone :)

我回来了~ 离毕业还有5天， 不过我对未来充满憧憬。 决定了我要读的college. Advanced Tertiary College (ATC),位于吉隆坡市中心。 著名的法律学院。 不懂这趟旅程我会不会孤身一人， 因为惠琳说有兴趣读法律，而我不是很喜欢的人有可能跟我读同一间 = = 虽然我一个人也可以适应，不过有好友相伴是一件好事。 暂时不谈未来吧。 现在呢，相信跟我同龄的K-bian满脑子都是毕业和SPM 回望过去的脚步，真的一眨眼就过了5年。 当时鲁莽什么都不懂的我也算心理成熟了一些。 我不懂自己怀抱着什么心情， 不过林老师说你不会忘记你中学的朋友跟点点滴滴。 我相信。 所以我下星期就会开始照相留念的“旅程” 因为我担心毕业当天不能跟所有人拍照。 学弟，学妹跟伙伴们， 我会想你们的。

Ok i was scrolling down my facebook home page And i saw tons of photos by my friends at maluri. They graduated today :) Well our graduation will be held on the 31st of October. 2 weeks from now, I cant describe the feeling i have now. Will i cry? Maybe no, but for sure ill miss SMKKB Five years in this school, made awesome friends,done crazy and stupid things. Im going to grab all my friends and juniors for photos. Hard to believe that im about to graduate And start a new chapter in life. Haha i got an urge to 'ponteng' class and walk around the school. Every corner, every place. There are so many memories. I know ill come back someday :) Two weeks from graduation. That day is going to mean a lot to me

我不是一个乖孩子， 所以我逃课了～ 而妈妈也允许我这样做，哈哈 但嘴上说的是温习，实际上没有很完善地利用时间。 可恶，所以说我颓废当中。 过着宅女的生活。 由于预考没达标， 所以正式宣布我在4月才继续升学。 也好，可以专心比赛，学驾车，学跳舞，打工 然后吃喝玩乐～哈哈没有啦，最重要是打工赚钱， 为家里带一点收入， 妈妈很辛苦。 当然SPM的目标是考到奖学金。 怎么说呢，我觉得我是个有自信的人， 所以我觉得我努力的话我一定可以获得我想要的成绩。 当然这种思想很危险， 希望越大，跌得越重。 也罢，妈妈都说我这个人真是该死地没有压力。 她也觉得稀奇。 顺其自然吧，当然努力还是必须的，我可不想失败。 所以本人去读书了。 到此一游（实际上是浪费时间）

So trial ended. 3A+ 5A 2B+ Cant say i did my best but there is effort in there. Recently saw one of my friend's blog. It was about someone who scored high marks due to the help of teacher. Hmm am i slamming that someone? Im not sure. But my pride is damn high. If its a mistake, then admit it. If that score is not yours, reject it. My principle. But seems it does not work on everyone especially those freaks who care so much for being the top even though knowing that score is not theirs. Seriously i look down on these people. I got 2B+ for this trial and i got the same B+ in the same subjects for mid year. It was just a mere mark for getting an A- . But im not complaining. I dont have good moral values, thats a disgusting comment on me. I just have a high pride. I know im wrong, so i learn from my mistakes. I know im careless, so ill take extra care next time. Yeah i still got B+ but hey i can say that is the result i get with my head held high. I understand that...

哈哈抱歉，这篇已经隔太久了。 说到开心，也是因为收到人生中最重要的那三个好友/女人/闺蜜的祝福和礼物。 虽然每年都是如此，但每年都很幸福，快乐。 然后再来的是那一群二货------5B班的同学与朋友为我唱生日歌。 谢谢你们的祝福，打从心底感谢你们。 但让我最开心的，莫过于收到你的礼物。 注：是好朋友送给我的，他是个温柔的大男生。 :) 那天早上一如往常地坐在食堂。 你突然走过来，跟我说声生日快乐，然后把礼物递给我。 我那时候真的呆住了，受宠若惊，随之感觉惊喜万分。除了道谢我真的找不到任何的词汇。 你就走了。 我忍不住拆开你的礼物，看到你新手做的盒子，看到里面塞满着你做的幸运星。 然后看到你写的祝贺与里面的惊喜。 说幸运星里头有十颗是排成一行信息。 我小心翼翼地把每一颗幸运星拿出来检视 因为每一颗幸运星都包含着你的祝福和心意。 秀慧也来了，她说这些幸运星全部都是你亲手折的。 那时候鼻子莫名一酸， 我持续找着所谓的信息，把有字的幸运星交给秀慧。 直到盒子被我掏空了，我也排出了那行字（虽然不是你告诉我的原版） ＂你我今生相遇既是缘分＂ 我哭了，眼泪中的都是感动。 我心里说你怎么这样啊？你不是考试吗？为什么还要为我精心准备这份礼物啊？ 这个大傻瓜，还让我那么开心，那么感动。 我再把幸运星一颗一颗放回盒子里。 这165颗星星，让我开心一整天，之前的伤感也暂时遗忘了 :) 开了fb,看到你的信息，看到你为我写的部落格篇， 我的眼泪又忍不住淌下， 我真的不知道我对你来说如此重要， 我真的不知道我做了你口中所谓的事， 我真的不知道被人珍惜的感觉是多么地幸福。 还有很多我不知道的， 但是我真的很开心，17岁以来最难忘的生日莫过于此。 你的礼物我现在放在桌面上，看到它我会微笑，给我莫名的鼓励。 最后，最后， 谢谢你，周宏哲，让我感觉到我是世界上最幸运的女孩。 :)

我的生日刚过， 有一些感想， 首先写伤心的事， 我发觉我真的是莫名其妙，或是太贪心了吧。 我多么希望我自己在乎的那两个大男生可以为我送上一些祝福。 我跟他们并没有暧昧，完全没有爱情的元素，就真的是一段纯纯的友谊。 但我觉得失望，在这里我不会透露他们的姓名。 男1号，中三时，是我主动跟他做朋友，以前同一个小学，但不同班。 中四开学时就更熟了，因为在他身上发生了一些事情，我也为他难过，流了不少眼泪。 那时候就是产生了所谓的羁绊。 他的生日快到了，我精心准备了礼物，还在卡片上写了不知所谓的肉麻话 = = 那份礼物，单纯地希望他会开心，也当作是一份鼓励。 但去年我生日的时候，他一句祝福也没有，他不是忘记，而是他根本不知道。 我也没提，因为我当时觉得心就是小小地碎了一下， 现在我还是耿耿于怀， 今年，我依然记得他的生日，虽然今年的礼物不像去年如此精心准备，但我还是买了礼物给他，因为我还是把他当作朋友来看待。但我再度地迎接失望。 今年的生日，他依旧一句祝福也没有。 他根本就不知道那天是我的生日。 或许别人会认为我从生日这件事来判断根本是幼稚，但我真的很在意。 所以意味着他根本不在乎我了吗？其实我该察觉到我们的关系已经变了。 我们不同班，你没主动找我，我也很少主动跟你接触。 但我就是放不下你，因为我知道你很少真正地开怀大笑，一些心事一直埋藏在心底。 虽然你有他作为好友，但他自己也是自顾不暇，我担心你一直压抑情绪。 所以或许我做得不够好，无法走进你的世界。 但我想知道我在你心目中究竟是什么价值？我送你的礼物，坦白说我也不懂你是否有好好珍惜，你或许把他放在角落让他生灰尘，我也不知道。 我是否应该再成为主动的那一方，去重拾我们的友谊吗？ 我也不禁怀疑自己，值得为你这样做吗？ 男2号，是我的好朋友 去年才认识， 我跟他玩到很疯， 开解他，听他诉苦，教他做高数，对他＂得到心仪对象的芳心作战计划＂给出一些女生的观点。 中四时，我亲手做了一张很丑的卡给他，他看到我写的内容哈哈大笑。 中五时，我买了礼物，也送了一张卡，他看了内容依然哈哈大笑 = = 或许因为我真的很期待他送我一张卡片还是什么的，但我的希望落空， 其实是我自己的问题，我太贪心了，希望我对别人的付出会得到一点回报。 我在班上，对他表现得很冷淡。 虽然他唱国歌...

基本上，快考完了。 只剩一颗高数跟完全没人理会的历史paper 3 刚才从网上得知数学成绩。 87分，还好，没想象中失望。 今天就是个懒懒的早晨， 做了家务， 看了最新一期中国好声音， 超爱哈林健身房! 不过大考完后也不能松懈， 剩下一个月半，真的是最关键的时刻了。 我拟定好了学习的时间表， 我真的希望我能考到我想要的很好，很好的成绩 但考完后先得做完教练给的功课。 SPM 过后就要立刻训练参加精辩了。 再想想，要毕业了，中学生涯中最后一次考试，最后一次参加辩论比赛。 目前没有不舍的感觉， 因为我们约好了， 毕业后去某人家烧烤， 大家约出来像往常般聊天， 有人结婚时就聚集在一起祝福。 我不会忘记，你们也不可能会忘记:)

Ugh I found out that i was thinking about the future too much when ive haven't even done well in my present life. I need to go back to reality and give it my all to what im doing now. Holidays about to end and time to go back to school. Then its exam = = Seems so unreal . Anyway at least i did something, Even though i know i can do more but not wanting to and finding excuses for myself. This post should not be here by the way, im supposed to be studying. Bye bloggie, this is weird

Whatssup? Im rolling back to my blog. The first week of holiday has almost passed. And i dun noe, i think ive done 50% of my expectations. Firstly, the piano theory exam = = Yeah its over, ive did what i could, So it all comes down to the results, nvm Then on Monday, Went to have steamboat with the crazy gang of 5B at night. It surely was a fat day = = Ive eaten all i could and i ate three cups of ice cream :D And i must say, Jun Bin, Brian, Yang and Yi Chen should be partners and open up a BBQ satay restaurant some day. They are freaking awesome in managing the meat and eggs, it was super delicious! Im lazy to post photos, ha! Maybe someday, but now i know 5B's boys are awesome at cooking, haha. Yeah and our beloved Puan Cheong attended the gathering and the boys all wanted to service her. :P And then one of us suggested to have an egg cooking competition to see which egg Puan Cheong would choose,  = = It was between Jun Bin and Yi Chen, and all of us supported ...

The header is absolutely correct. Two weeks of holiday devoted to studying. What a good student i am = = Nah, its a serious thing. All of us really don't want to mess up our trial exam. Personally, i wish to see myself improve. Thats all what ifs. Taking action is basically the first thing to do. And im going to sit for my grade 8 theory exam AGAIN at my school. I swear i won't fail this time = = Argh feeling the tension now, three more months till SPM. I seriously need to relieve my stress . Gambateh to all form 5s including me > <

Ish Since I cant avoid it, I have to start working hard. What I meant is about the trial exams. I really don't know what has gotten into me these days. I just feel like tired. Sleeping in class, napping for the afternoon and going to bed around 11pm at night. But I've started to finish up my homework Even though I don't like it. 26th of August, That's when the trial exams start. And guess what? Im going to the band concert at 24th of August And then going to KDU College to be a supporter for Jun Bin and his dance crew of the competition My Challenge at the 25th. I just think that these things are just once in a lifetime. Lacking 2 days of study won't change much of your results. Its based on what you've studied constantly. Im not going to make myself regret just because of exams. They're not the one influencing my decision. Anyway, Ive still gotta study zzzzz Ill do the best I can.' Yeah and thank you to my bloggie for allowing me...

没想到我真的卸任了。 有点如释重负的感觉。 有些事情还是放不下，也还为一些学弟学妹们担心。 但老实说，我很放心把华文学会交给他们。 这一群二货， 非常认真，即使做不好，也会全力以赴。 有时也很爱玩，结果戳破我的笑点（无奈） 一年， 才惊觉我担任这个职位已有一年。 在这个过程中，有欢笑，有眼泪。 我学到不少东西，对我来说的确是很棒的经验。 接棒时，我有两度想落泪，但我还是忍住了。 一定要面带笑容嘛，这是一件快乐的事。 我呢，在这一年里很在意别人的评价，也很在意别人的感受。 但有时就是无法安慰到别人（抱歉） 我真的不得不感谢这两个人。 芯孜和劭任。 他们啊，是我支撑下去的动力。 想到今年，我们三人都在每个星期五留到下午4点。 讨论公事，不经意就开始聊天。 劭任很好笑。不懂他的人，认为他很凶，难以接近。 但久了后你就会发现他真的是个外冷内热的人。 他有很多心事，也有多种情绪（所以他才写歌那么厉害） 你做一些无厘头的事，他就笑了xD （其实他也很好懂） 芯孜就是有这种魔力，可爱的外表和声音下有一个赤热的心。 她也很好笑xD,总是会说出很可爱的话把劭任逗笑。 劭任就会露出无奈的表情，然后向我求救，但我已经在旁边笑翻 xD 我太幸运了，我有两位很棒的搭档。（鞠躬） 当然也要感谢宏哲，我真的不懂他如何把文书这个工作胜任得那么出色 如果没有他我也不懂该怎么办 TT (感激不尽） 也很感谢所有中五的高执委们，感谢你们的包容和付出。 我引以为傲！ ^_^ 中四的学弟学妹们， 华文学会就交给你们了！ 加油啊！你们一定可以的！ :) 就写到这里， 我也是时候收拾心情，专注于学业，朝着梦想继续前进了。 重新启程 :)

4A+, 4A, 2B+ 1/43 in class 1/597 in whole form. I was like, OMG But then, yeah, its a boost for me. I won't compete with the others. Its me myself ive gotta beat. Ill work harder for my trial exam. My future, my decision, my results,in my hands. There is nothing more to be said :)

好了， 经过下午的荒唐， 冲了凉，哭了，睡了一觉，气消了，冷静了。 这是很认真的一篇文章。 说真的， 我有点累了 （这不是气话） 才发觉自己根本不算什么。 今天在EA节把头发绑起来 （因为很热，之前剪的短发也长了） Brian说我变帅了，诗薇说我恢复之前干练的样子。 我？干练？确定吗？ 大部分认识我的人认为我很强， 有一种历经沧桑的感觉。 我觉得自己配不起， 根本没资格。 我只是个普通的女生。 我有自己的原则，主宰着自己的情绪， 我也很在意别人的眼光。 之前有人说我出风头，不肯教他们，说我骄傲。 不出声，不说话，想尽力而为表现，这样也错。 我没说什么，那时候太愚昧了。 怕说错话，怕惹人不满，想取悦别人。 真是犯贱，不过那已经是中二的事了。'我也跟这人没什么接触了，因为自己已经退出那社团。 哈哈，我不想感谢她， 但是能领悟一些事情， 也并非坏事 :) 你不能去满足每一个人， 并非每个人都会喜欢你， 不走出这个框框的话，做人会很辛苦。 我想随心，随兴。 做自己爱做的事。 我希望能找回当初那个抱持着热忱的我， 做回个快乐的人。 哈哈那也要等所有的事情都处理完后，才能专心应付考试吧。 I am who i am. I can fall down painfully, cry out loudly, scream and shout. But one of my greatest strengths is to keep on going. And pull it through :)

I don't know what has gotten into me. I just think i lost control today. I don't know why im so angry. What is the point of being so angry when people don't even give a shit on what you're saying? I must have looked scary back then. Honestly i don't have the mood to tell joey the news. But she is my best buddy. I told her and congratulated anyway. But i don't know why after seeing all those statuses on fb i just feel even down. And i cried when i saw joey's comment. It just happened so suddenly. I really need time to calm myself. I know ill feel nothing tomorrow. But i feel like shit now. Stayed back for four days straight and im tired and grumpy now. Why everyone expects me to understand why they want to cheer so loudly? I understand the reason but i just can't accept it. I don't want to now. Damn it

Dang! Whatssup, back to my blog cuz im lazy to finish my homework right now. The interview session has begun,which sapped all the energy outta me. Interviewing people is no joke, but its once in secondary school life. Although its a bit late, I would still like to post my feelings about my last Sports Day in secondary school life. Literally, it was awesome, no words to describe it. :D Its funny how people advised us not to get involved in any stuff during form 5 due to the exams, I broke that principle though, and i never regret it :) I volunteered to help in the preparation of tent decoration. I skipped class for 4 days straight, stayed back till late that week, homework unfinished. We once muttered,grumbled,feeling dejected, But all the hard work paid off :) It was a memorable moment when our house was announced winner of the tent decoration. I screamed out of joy with all my house members, I hugged Joe Yee, and both of us were crying. Our decoration leader, Wai Kit ...

Yeah, time passes in the blink of an eye and its june. Im about to step down from my post at the end of July. And then SPM at the start of November Yet the workload is still there and increasing by the minute. So i struck up a plan to juggle my time between studies and all the stuff going on. Firstly, get enough sleep. I think i did a good job doing that. Sleep is essential for your health. Im not falling sick due to studies, no way. Don't burn the midnight oil. That is the time where all your organs are working to extract poison from your body. Trust me its less than effective when you stay up at night. That is when all the diseases come to you. Im also developing the habit of eating fruits before dinner. It helps you have an idea on how much you want to eat later. And it plays a good role in your digestion. Secondly,get organized. Have a clear mind on what you want to do. Its good to write your schedule down and stick it at noticeable places. Gives you motiva...

Oh gosh. I went to tarik tali today. Representing my house, yellow <3 We lost though, but it was a fun experience :) There were ups and downs. Our boys worked damn hard. We girls shouted like hell cheering for them. Joe Yee, Vi Yin and i literally went crazy :P But they lost at the semi final due to the unfairness of the teachers. Really frustrated at that time. But there is nothing we can do, we can only try to do our best for the next events. Stay strong, yellow house! We are the best! Im in charge of the prize giving next week. I just came back from society activities. Feeling exhausted. But i still have to continue doing constant revision for my studies even though the mid term exam is just over. SPM is just no joke. Argh. So for the good news: my results for mid term exam inproved!!! :D We got back all of our papers. I know my weaknesses and ill do even better for trial, i can relax when my dad comes to take my results at Open Day :) And the bad news: i fai...

In my own private space, I wish myself all the best to myself For my piano exam tomorrow. :) 3/4 holidays wasted being agitated,procrastinating and lazy = = Music sets me free. And its great to have an outing with friends. And then its time to find back the momentum In dealing with everyday life after the holidays come to an end.

Ugh There's a mixed feeling when it comes to holidays. There's a great chance that laziness would prevail me. I hate it yet i do it. Why?  TT And im curious actually. I seldom looked at my blog overview. But when i checked it out today i realized that there were 20++ pageviews yesterday. I was wondering who will look at my blog. Hmm. Back to holidays. If im great i can make good use of it. If im not ( which is definitely yes) i do only one eighth of my plan. Got back some papers today. It was all ok, yet i felt guilty cuz i didnt get an A- for my BM. Sorry Puan Normah TT But there's always the trial exam :) Ok, 2 outings, a DAMN HARD TO PASS piano practical exam and a camp. That's my holiday. Enjoy yours peeps :)

Aww, Last paper left tomorrow. If you see the header, i really need that right now. Especially in studies. Just felt i did not give my best at all. There is effort, but there's no punch there. I got good results but i know that i can achieve better. Im not stressed, i made sure of that. I just hope that i can find a trigger to boost myself up. Hate the feeling when im struggling. I hate procrastination yet i do it all the time. Argh gotta find that mood to improve myself. Im just not willing to be stuck at this pitiful state.

So you will be seeing two very contrasting posts. After what i wrote yesterday it was just a media for me to pour my frustrations out. Today ill write something positive. Hmm after my piano class i have the impression that my teacher feels that i have improved. Mind you i did practice. Even though it was exam week. At the start of holiday i will practice a minimum of 3 hours and a maximum of 6 hours. I must pass! Its two weeks and a bit more left from the exam! I got to know someone better recently. Its Huey Lin. She's a cute pint sized girl with a lot of thoughts. No wonder we get on well because we are both virgo babies. :D Yeah and i got an A+ for my maths paper. Its actually a piece of cake so you will see my class very happy right now. Most of us did well. I learned to think positive about exam results since last year. You will be sad when you get bad marks but it is most important to learn from your mistakes. My stress level was surprisingly low during th...

The mid-term examination is about to end. Only three papers left next week. Well i didnt study overnight frequently as i used to when the exams are near. Bcuz i recognised when my mind works best. So i prefer rest over studying non stop actually. Except for accounts and add maths. Just see how i did after the results come out.. No point worrying. Hmm my feelings are just mixed nowadays. I laugh out hard at school bcuz of those crazy bitches xD But at home i just turned into another person. Sadly i admit i fail in dealing the relationship between my family members. Especially my mum. Admittedly we never actually reached an understanding. Im just confused why could i offend her at such a small matter. And she just rants on and exaggerates the problem. But i kept quiet.  I was just so tired. I just came back late from society activities.I really did not want to explain. Mind you im not saying its my mother's fault or what, Its just i really don't know how can i ...

Hmm This post is here because i am giving myself a break from revision. Yeah call me lazy, whatever, i know what im doing anyway. A lot is happening at April. But maybe ill blog about the details after that damn mid year exam which lasts for three weeks OMG. It will commence at the 2nd of May. Well, ignoring that, Our school carnival will be held this saturday! :D And i joined an activity which i find fun , Watch out peeps, at 11am, there will be 50++ people doing a flash mob! Happy to say im one of them, Though i joined in quite late, Im happy to be part of it. Thanks to jun bin anyway. :) Well thats all, just being lazy. Looking forward to this saturday anyway. :)

我只想在乎我在乎的。 我无需为了一些事情而伤神。 况且，别人未必领情。 我一直记着我学长学姐给我的忠告。 但有些事情必须亲自体会才能成长。 是挑战，是包袱，是枷锁，是我自己决定的。 我会尽力做好我的本份。 这是我唯一能做的事。 其他的，别再想了。

哈哈哈，我是个蛮不错的blog stalker 看着别人的部落格写满了那一段风花雪月的回忆， 让我不禁也想尝试看看,抱歉，我文笔没那么好 xD 这当然也得等大考后 :) Hmm,怎么说，在适时斟酌如何在各方面取得一个平衡时， 却发现自己与压力还未扯上关系。 可能因为5B那一群疯子的关系xP 哈哈但我有时会变得一个多愁善感的人。 谢谢你们肯听我诉苦，爱死你们了，虽然一不经意就会被你们拖进神经病病院 :D 华文学会的事， 我决定抱持着顺其自然的心态去面对一切的未知数。 林老师给我很多宝贵的意见， 中五的高执委也肯为我分担。 虽然我还会为那班化骨龙担心， 但也得看他们自己的造化。 从上个星期五的会议看，总算找回自己的状态。 会忞，谢谢你 :) 看到他们一脸认真地听我说话，总算是放下心中的一块石头。 哈哈，虽然有点夸张，但有人说他们一进班就有冷风飕飕的感觉，从我身上散发一股莫名的杀气（怎么有点无间道的感觉） 回归！回归！扯远了 另外我也有动力去读书了， 不能再得过且过了！ Erm,虽然之前说认真但只有三分钟热度（心虚） 我一定要做到，就从假期开始！看看我努力的成果吧！ 另外，我们甲洞卫星市国中辩论队成功晋级国会室辩论比赛的半决赛了！ 超兴奋，毕竟我很久没赢过一场校外比赛了。 昌熙也势不可挡，从去年统计，在此赛事已连续夺得六次最佳辩论员。 我和那只肥猪，伟荣也替他高兴。 毕竟今年是我们三人的中学生涯最后几次的辩论比赛了。 还有很多的感受，但我想停止写了。 我承诺，spm后，会写一篇关于我辩论生涯的文章 :) 再见！

Oh yeah, SPM results released yesterday. Firstly congrats to my bro, He did a good job, 9As =D And congrats to my seniors too. Hard work does paid off. Yeah, seeing them pulling happy faces when getting their results, Makes me feel a bit nervous yet motivated. I hope I can achieve good results for this year too =) My target is straight As, with many A+ if i do my best. I just slacked a bit.Damn it. Yeah for this monthly test I got 8As and 2Bs. But actually my overall result has dropped. My mum pointed this out to me, And seeing the release of SPM results makes me have a grave feeling that i really need to push myself harder. So I decided to work hard for this one week holiday. Besides going for a debate competition tomorrow, Otherwise Im going to focus more on studies. Firstly finish up my homework and then revise on Form 4 topics. Master the basics first. Unfortunately our mid year test will be at the start of May, Which means about a month left. So really Iv...

It is a funny feeling. When you hear something negative of yourself in front of your face yet accept it calmly Im not sure whether I was calm at that moment. Is this maturity? No answer given in my mind. Yet I admit I was a bit frustrated. I know its for my well being.But When I tried to use my own ways yet someone contradicts me. Hey it was actually you guys who said i should change a way Hmm I actually prefer them to be honest to me. Thank you, Shao Ren =) But yet I know its hard for you to explain, But wouldn't you guys tell me what is on your mind. Im not angry, I can accept critizication But honestly I just wish you guys would just tell me what is on your mind. I won't blame on you guys or break down. I just hate the feeling when you guys think that Im wrong yet you don't explain the problem to me! Where is the rationale behind this? Everyone has their own opinions, their own personality and their own way of thinking. So I accept it. Yet I blame my...

忽略了我的部落格蛮久， 所以趁今天空闲就想写一篇。 正是考试期间，明天还有一科数学。 暂时不管，因为真的觉得好像经历了蛮多事情。 新年刚过，接踵而来的是繁忙的学会工作和预试。 时间还真过得快。 真的，你相信吗？3月了。 我试图去取得一个平衡，但往往我的惰性会阻碍我的前进。 有时真的很不明白我自己。 真的非要临时抱佛脚才能达到最好的成绩吗？ 我否定，但我偏偏就不做乖宝宝，理智地分配时间，也许能事半功倍。 但我没有。郭皓盈，你就是这样。 自讨苦吃。 但无论如何还是想尝试去做得更好。 真的，我不能再停滞不前了。 应付了月考，接着就必须面对乐理考试。 真是的，所有的东西就这样被安排好， 也许要给我一个考验。 我不懂我自己怎么了。 最近很爱探讨一些深奥的理论。 明明就还未亲自经历这些事情。 我就是在面子书上搜索蔡康永的哲理语录。 他是个非常了不起的作家和主持人， 我买了他的小说， 但搁在一边一段蛮长的时间。 真的有点对不起自己。 有时他的话，在我的心中泛起一阵涟漪/。 就是在那个时刻，感觉非常强烈。 有时我会用来勉励自己。 我记得他其中的一段话： 记住，你是女人。但要跟男人一样，独立，坚强。不让别人满意，就让自己满意 :) 还有，最近一直在听华文歌。英文歌也有。 华人歌手真的很厉害。我由衷的说这一句。 在结束之间，介绍几首歌曲吧，不乏新旧。 林宥嘉-想自由，勉强幸福，伯乐，浪费，说谎 蔡健雅-陌生人，空白格，Beautiful Love 韦礼安-累，心碎心碎，还是爱着你 孙燕姿-我怀念的，绿光 白安-是什么让我遇见这样的你，我只在乎我在乎的 the wanted- i found you, all time low, heart vacancy 郁可唯-伤不起 暂时就这样吧， 不懂何时才能像现在这样悠闲了. 蔡康永哲理语录： 做最單純的人，走最倖福的路：我們時常會感覺到心纍，隻是自己想得太多。我們總說生活繁瑣，其實是自己不懂得品味。我們時常业務繁忙，隻是自己得不到滿足。我們也總是爭強好勝，其實是自己虛荣心太強。其實，人生就那麼簡單。

It has been a long time since my last post. So I decided to blog today. =) Yup, the caligraphy competition in school is just over. 挥春比赛 And tomorrow will be Chinese New Year Eve. Looking forward to the reunion dinner at night =D And on the first day new year, Im going back to Penang! I call it as my hometown, although Im a KL citizen. Weird right? Penang is my mother's hometown actually But I love it. Its just so great relaxing your mind after all those busy stuff you've got to do. RELAX~ I find peace there. I decided to give myself a break. Whether chatting, barbequing with my relatives. Or gambling of course xD But it was so great if my holiday wasn't messed up by homework or exams. Damn it. Yeah. And my first trial test of the year will be at 26th of February. I think what I've learned seemed to leak out of my brain somehow. Whatever. As my accounts teacher always said: So what? =D I won't pressure myself too much. Play hard, st...

I don't know why, I just felt bad. Physically and mentally. I wonder am I falling sick. But I told myself to think positively. There's just that irritating nagging pain in my right head. Owh, by the way, My revision plan on Sunday was completely ruined when Mum announced she wanted to go shopping at Sogo. Lesson of the day: It takes a long time for a woman to choose a pair of shoes she likes. That's what my brother looked like when me and mum were browsing the merchandise. LOL Anyway, luckily I didn't come back empty-handed. Mum bought me a pair of platform shoes.My God, it was 10cm long at the base. But it satisfies me to be closer at height with my brother when I put those shoes on. He keeps teasing me short anyway. By the way, it costs RM69, I thought it was reasonable since it was much expensive before the discount. (Happy, smiles ^^) And the bad part of the day was that I had to finish up my homework late in the night. Damn that BM essay, took ...

Took a nap just now. I was just too tired. So  passes the second week of school I just felt literally I haven't done enough. So maybe Ill try a tack of more revision for the weekends. Plus all that homework tagging along. Accounts, a BM essay and literature, and sejarah notes. It wasn't anything surprising for this week. Ive just finished a meeting with all the Chinese Society members. Though i accidentally took up a post for my yellow house == Sorry joey dear, I forgot to nominate you. But you know HE was trying to control the list of ajk by suggesting all his friends regardless whether they are capable or suitable for that post ( You just have to know from heart) Damn its just the second week. I don't know why can't i stand tiredness. Sleep always prevails me. It just wasn't helping. And neither does Mr Joshua's daily speeches with all that long boring talk. I still prefer Mr Herman. He's cool =) I always told myself to revise consist...

This is just me emoing Because YOU made me feel bad. Its been 3 years dude. 3 years. You were my first love. How we struggled for a year before we were finally a couple. How we try to break the communication barrier. How we ended up breaking apart due to it We were too young. I was damn naive. But you were the one always giving the first step. We were far apart, At two different places. I was worried when our relationship started. I was always wondering how would it last When we can't meet each other. I was surprised, Because you knew exactly what was I thinking What were my worries. But then I was touched, Because you came straight to find me during the holidays. I was surprised when you turned up right in front of me. We had a happy outing. You held my hand tightly. You gave me a present. And you bought the same item. You said that this bonds us together,no matter how we're far apart. I was sad when the holidays came to an end. You were about...

开学了 今天是第二天 就已经开始忙了 早前在12月31日做了年度计划， 目前我都有跟着自己的计划走， 觉得蛮高兴的， 可能是因为有个自觉吧， 这一年对我来说非常地关键 但我还是希望自己在未来能尽量跟着计划走， 心里会踏实些。 96年的同伴们，加油吧！^_^